Travel Tip: The airport security line formula

With the holidays approaching and many that will be traveling I thought I would share my formula for picking which metal detector/x-ray line to go through at the airport.  I have tested this formula on many trips and believe in its merits and I invite anyone to develop a better one if you can.

The formula is simple, you assign points for each person in line and then add/subtract from that points given for the TSA workers. 

Points for those in the line:

• -1 point - average business traveler
• 1 point - average male leisure traveler
• 2 points - average female leisure traveler (no I am not sexist, but with the liquid restrictions, I see it everyday where a female forgot she had lotion or hand sanitizer in her bag and gets called out)
• 3 points - any traveler over the age of 70, or any traveler that still thinks you must get to the airport 3 hours before a flight
• 4 points - every kid that is walking on their own
• 5 points - every kid in a stroller
• 10 points - Mr. T

Points for the TSA employee reading the x-ray machine:

• subtract 1 point - if they are talking to all the other TSA employees around them
• add 3 points - if they are squinting at the screen

To use the formula, you add the points for the different travelers and then add or subtract from that the points for the type of TSA employee reading the x-ray machine.  Then like golf, the line that has the lowest score is your winner.

To give an example.  In line A there are 1 average business traveler, 2 female leisure travelers, 2 kids that were not being carried and then the TSA employee was talking to other TSA employees. (-1+2+2+4+4-1=10) 

Then in line B there are 2 travelers over 70, 1 average male leisure traveler, 1 kid in a stroller and the TSA person is squinting at the screen. (3+3+1+5+3=15)

Thus you will want to choose line A.

Comments

[Meredith]

Very interesting. I would have to say that I think your formula is pretty accurate. I do think it is unfair that I am twice the points as Harry (the diabetic who travels with a ton of needles and insulin) but I guess we are not your normal woman/man travelers. :-) It is sad that no airport security person ever thinks to ask Harry why he is carrying an arsenal of needles. Makes me feel real safe!

[Justin]

Genius!