The RussCo Idea Buffet

Travel tip - Don't give your plane a black eye

This is the plane I am about to get on to Seattle. Apparently some bigger planes were picking on it at lunch today and gave it a black eye. So now the nice repair man is icing it's eye.

Monkey Business Gift Wrapping Kiosk

The Idea:  They have trained gorillas and monkeys sign language, how to act, and sent one to outer space.  So why not train a couple of them to wrap presents.  Likely you could train them to wrap one specific size and then train different ones on different sizes packages.  You would just have to put the item to be wrapped in the specific size box, then let the monkey go to town.  To finish it off, the monkey could then slap a sticker on the top that says "wrapped by monkeys". 

Travel Tip: Have fun with your hotel

On my travels I have often found ways to keep myself entertained.  Two of my favorite things to do on the road have to do with the hotel.  The first is when I am making my reservations and we get to that point in the call where the hotel agents asks me, "Mr. Hammond, will you be traveling with any pets?"  My response, "yes, I will have 15 chinchillas with me, do you have accommodation's for them on site?"  Of course they have no clue how to answer that one.  My other favorite move to pull is to send TOP SECRET faxes to myself on the Hotel's fax machine.  Of course there is nothing TOP SECRET other than those words that I put in bold on the cover page.  It usually draws some interesting looks and whispers from the hotel staff as well as free perks from time to time.   What perks you may ask, that my friend is classified.

Funny Observation: Where are you suppose to look when getting carded?

The Observation:  I travel a ton and therefore fly a lot which ultimately means I get my ID checked on a weekly basis.  Because you know I never get carded at bars since I have looked 40 from age 18 to present day.  As a matter of fact, I walked into the bathroom once in High School and some guys that were smoking threw out their cigarettes because they thought I was a substitute teacher.  I wish I was making that up.  Back to the subject at hand...  I never know where I am suppose to look when I am getting my ID checked by the friendly TSA folks.  Am I suppose to stare them down, read their name tag, be courteous and ask for their ID, or look off into the distance.  I usually end up looking off in the distance somewhere which I then immediately begin to think makes me look suspicious which then turns into a vicious cycle as I begin to sweat in my nervousness.  Unlike everyone else in the security line that is worried if they have all their liquids and gels in the proper 3 ounce container and then all of those in a 1 quart bag and only 1 bag, remember 3-1-1, I am worried if I will make it by the ID check.    

Funny Observation: Weather Warnings in the middle of boring TV

The Funny Observation: I love it when you are watching something dull on TV such as golf or tennis on a lazy Sunday afternoon and in the middle of some random announcer's commentary the weather alert alarm sounds.  Its as if Samuel L. Jackson has taken over announcing golf and is cussing but being censored. 

The Close Second: However if you ever watch a dog show and listen long enough you hear the announcers there drop the b-word (b!#*%) quite often when referring to the females which I think is hilarious.  One would even think they were watching a bad rap video.